It’s true. I have not posted a blarg in quite some time. It’s also true that Trader Joe’s has a red velvet cheesecake that makes tears flow from my eyes. In a good way, naturally. The way that makes my thighs continue to touch. 

Anyways, as stated before, it has been a while. In all honesty, I have no real “theme” or “idea” of what the topic will be for this post. But, i’m just letting the chips fall where they may. Genius. Or stupid. We’ll see in a few minutes…

It’s almost Christmas time and also almost the New Year. A lot has happened in 2011, so much that it would take multiple posts or one really super di-dooper long post. I’ll spare ye ‘ol readers the long one. I promise.

It’s around this time of year that I get very reflective. “What have I done with my life, this year, ” I ask myself. And, “You wasted another year, Dingbat.” (That’s me yelling at myself internally) And sometimes I even ask myself, “Why does your nose turn slightly to the right? It’s annoying.”

2011 was a long year for me. I had high hopes, and if i’m being really real with myself, i’d say I actually did some things towards a positive goal. I’ve made some choices this year that i’m extremely proud of. Some, not so much. Some are a daily back and forth struggle. But when after all is said and done, i’d say I generally wasted another year. I mean - I still have a month, so I have a slight chance of redeeming myself, but most likely I will not. 

It’s hard to think about being 26 (or practically 30) and still wasting life. If my Grandpa taught me anything when he was alive it was to do the exact opposite. He would say, “Dayna. What is it that you want to do? Stop worrying. Just do it! You only have this one life.” He worked like a dog to provide for his family. He loved deeply. He cared deeper. And he encouraged generations. I can say with all sincerity that I just don’t know if I can measure up in the slightest. And this…this is the key. How do I love, care, encourage, and stop wasting my precious life?

I have no idea. Yet.

I worry much. I don’t care about much. I love on a surface level. Encouraging?…I’d like to think i’ve been called that, but not generally. I’m really no one to look up to. I talk a good game, but there’s a lot of baggage chained to my ankles that make it difficult for me to move on. It’s not easy being vulnerable. Actually, being vulnerable sucks. It’s a lot easier living as a shell. Vulnerability usually gets me hurt…and it happened again recently. But, there’s the little voice that tells me to press on. Be vulnerable again, because maybe, just maybe, someday…it will change my life for the better. Because even though living like a shell is easier, it’s no way to live. It’s lonely. And i’m doing my darndest to think critically about that fact.

That’s the hope i’m clinging to in 2012. Let’s pray it sticks and lands me some luck before the end of the world comes. My parents are grilling me about marriage again…

Boy, did this blarg take a serious turn or what? Weird.

Let’s just say I wrote something of merit for once. Or not. It doesn’t really matter, anyways. 

I’ll leave you with a story. It involves my wiener dog. Ready for it?….He just tried jumping up to my bed and bounced off. Face first.

You’re welcome!

This is a story about a gal who normally loathes country music, ended up at CMA Fest. It’s a doosy. I promise.

So, there I sat in my office at work, as I tend to do from day to day, and my boss drops CMA Fest tickets on my desk and said, “give these away.” Being a non-profit that helps warriors in the armed forces, we do a lot with country music. I guess there’s a strong contingent of servicemen who like country. Who knew! Anyways, I start my emailing frenzy to our volunteers to see if any want the tickets. The only ones still remaining were for Saturday evening’s show including a line-up of Little Big Town, Josh Turner, Trace Adkins, and Martina McBride. (There were others, but I have no idea who they are.)

Let us review my sentiments of the first opening sentence. I do not like country music. Though my musical liking’s tend to be quite eclectic and somewhat schizophrenic, it is simply not a genre that I enjoy. In fact, as many of my friends and family would attest - I detest. BUT, let it be known that I do enjoy Little Big Town. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you. Because my sister insisted that I would like them - and she was correct, for once. As a musician and a girl from the most extremest of musical and singing families, I am a sucker for a 4-part harmony. Call me crazy. Or not. Whatever.

So, I gathered 3 of my country-lovin’ buddies (who, i’m sure never thought they would receive this invitation ever in their lifetimes) and went to the show. All booty-cracks, mullets, exposed patriotic underwear, and endless cowboy boots aside, I was a bit excited? We’ll go with that. Sure.

So we made our way to the boondocks (see what I did there?) and took our seats. Kristin Chenoweth was MC’ing and sadly I was more excited to see her than anyone else! I do love me some Kristin Chenoweth! (Though from where we were seated, her small stature was practically non-existent and all I heard was that voice!)

Little Big Town started the evening, so I geared up my beer-bottle microphone and belted out my harmonies with my pals (much to the chagrin of our surrounding concert-goers) and I, wait…what…yes…ENJOYED IT! They are excellent live…equipped with a bluegrass version of Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way” in which I gladly took some footage on my phone. They proved a wonderful show, even if they did look like itty bitty ants. 

Next was Josh Turner. Apparently he’s the one dude with the low voice. (Or as my mom refers to him, “that cutie patootie.”) He did about 5 songs and the whole arena was loving him. I was loving my beer. But i’ll give him this…he did sound very good live. I can appreciate a singer that can actually sing live. Before his time was up, that little mini-him who won American Idol came out to sing a few bars along with Josh. But they turned off the mega-tron, so I can’t actually tell you who sang what, because it all sounded the same to me! (Although - the screams of the young women in the stands did give away some of Scotty McCreery’s lines.)

At this point, a storm started brewin’ and as I did really want to see Martina (I’m sure she is amazing live), I had a long walk back to my illegal parking job and something about doing it in pouring down rain, fighting thousands of people, and in old navy flip-flops (which are NEVER safe footwear in the rain) caused me and my friends to duck out early. (It actually never started raining. Who knew!)

So hello Clint Black, Big-N-Rich, and Trace Adkins - goodbye Trace Adkins! I did manage to hear his humble speech to the fans about their generosity after his house burnt down last week. I was extremely impressed with his words…”Thank you for everything, but we are ok. If you want to give money to someone, give it to a charity or the Red Cross.” Way to go Trace Adkins. Way to go!

So we walked back to the car, and called it a night. All in all, i’d say it was a success. I got through it with my dignity in-tacked and daggonit - I actually had fun! So here’s to you free ticket to CMA Fest! You caused a northerner non-country listener to actually enjoy a country music show. 

But I think i’m good for the rest of my life, though.

Let’s recap from my “New Years” Post when I stated the 5 things I wanted to do in 2011. Let’s see what she’s done! (she, being me.)

1. Get a dog.

2. Buy a couch.

3. Finally get that darned tattoo on my arm i’ve been planning for a year.

4. Record an EP.

5. Meet new people. 

Number 4 and 5 are half-done. Well, 5 is more of an ongoing thing. But let’s be clear! I meet new people weekly. So, here’s to a social life, eh?

And the EP is in the WORKS! Holy flip. I am recording it in 2 parts. For 2 reasons.

One) I’m too poor to do it all in one sitting.

Two) Well, honestly, it’s just that first reason. But I already typed “two” so I just went with it.

I am recording my piano/vocals and my Cousin Wunderkinde Drew will lay down bass this month.

Over the next couple of months, i’ll muster some stooges and get the drums and guitars laid to rest.

Thus, resulting in a finished product by mid to late summer. Mark your calenders. Or don’t. Either way.

——————————

That’s sort of all I have for you today. I thought i’d write more but my left eye is twitching and I don’t quite know how to focus on anything else BUT it at the moment.

If I think of anything I feel worthy of writing, I will later. Or rather, I won’t. Either way.

My new tunage! “Clouds” - Dayna Duncan (via thedaynaduncan)

Something short of an epiphany graced my mind tonight as I took a bubble bath and listened to Mumford and Sons. A nightly tradition it’s become as of late because it seems that sweating myself into a coma, whilst listening to somber music, is the only thing that puts my mind at ease. Stress, my dear friends, is my middle name. Anxiety. Panic. “Why?”…you ask. Well, my job. Money. Money. Family. Money. Being 25 and single. Money. And did I mention that money thing? It seems to be this cycling cataclysm that is my life. However, I could write about financial woes until my mind explodes, or yours, really…but I’m no financial writer. I’m a writer of feelings. And here are mine. And I’m pretty sure that this particular light bulb moment has changed my life.

As mentioned before, I, like many fellow Americans have become enamored with all that is “Mumford and Sons.” If you don’t know who they are (my older readers, and Mom & Dad) you must allow yourself the opportunity. Marcus Mumford, the son of the pastors who became the head of the Vineyard Movement in England leads this foursome into an amazing mix of pain, sorrow, and hope? Yes…Oodles and oodles of hope! They embody what I’ve been speaking of all along: A model of hope, faith, and love…but not afraid to own up to the mess. Are they Christian (many of you will wonder)?…I wouldn’t necessarily box them up and say no. In fact, the millions of people all over the world that have joined their bandwagon (pun intended) would not be able to either. But the world has noticed. With two Grammy nominations, I’d say the world has screamed their names from the mountaintops. Why are they so impacting? Here are some lyrics from their song “Awake My Soul” that led me to my next exploit within this blarg. The actual “point” that I’m trying to make.

“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul”

Yes. And thank you.

It donned on me as if a brick landed on my head. Call it fate. Call it God. Call it “it’s about time.” How much of my life have I missed out on because I do not feel confident with my body. How many opportunities in my life have I missed because I hate the way that I look. How much joy and love have I thrown away because I thought myself unworthy due to being overweight. It’s a tough thought to mull and it’s a tough thought to admit to you.

I’ve spent my entire life telling God that he messed up. I’ve spent most of that time convincing myself of that as well! I have looked at life and relationships like a runner-up prize because ONE DAY when I’m skinnier, I’ll finish first. I have looked at a mirror in disgust too many times to realize everything that I DID have to offer.

Confidence, especially in young girls, is something that once it is lost, it’s lost forever. Or until you finally take a stand against the defeat.

I gave up as a child, and have spent my 25 years on earth missing out of life because I was too preoccupied with my chub. And let’s face it. It is a daily constant reminder of your failure. Or least, that’s the self-consciousness talking. Now, I’m not obese or even truly overweight. I am short, and therefore carry this shelf thing called a body differently. But, it doesn’t matter. You can be 90 pounds and still feel like you’re disgusting. But, think about it. Why did God create man? To do something great, right? To do something destined for them…to find love, and acceptance, and to live life to the fullest. Now, how many people do you know that actually live like that? The number is slim. That’s for sure.

Now, I won’t speak for you, but in this moment I took a recall of moments in my life when I projected how I saw myself into the eyes of someone else. I don’t know how many times I have missed out on because I counted myself out. “He’s too good looking for me anyways.” Or, “They won’t hire me over her – she’s prettier and skinnier.” Or, “I won’t make it in music because I know I’m not marketable because I’m chubby.” – Now, that last one is more for me. Just so you know.

But, what I am trying to conclude with is that the people who succeed in life do so because they are confident in their abilities, have dreams, and strive for them no matter the cost. Not because they are skinny, or the best looking. If you can’t see what it means when God said that we are the “apple of His eye” then you are not living life to the fullest. It’s not easy. Oh, no. And I’m not saying that eating every HoHo in sight is ok. But, realizing that sometimes things are just out of your control and accepting that you are truly beautiful can change your life. Life is unfair. True. It sucks. Also, true. People don’t always get a fair shake. True, true, and true. BUT, maybe we could enjoy some of the fortunate life moments a little better is we accepted that.

I realize I’m speaking to myself 100% as well. I’m no guru. I’m just a slowly but surely recovering hermit who is taking baby steps into this thing called “a better life.”

I wrote a worship song a little while back for my Dad’s church and it’s funny. Funny, meaning that I honestly can’t say that I even believed the words I wrote. I guess it’s true when they say that God can speak through something, even if the speaker doesn’t get it. The bridge is just a repetition of:

“You see beauty

You make beauty

Out of me”

 It’s there. Even when we don’t see it ourselves.

 “In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

Where you invest your love, you invest your life” 

So I realized that I write a whole lot about music…which led me to a thought. The thought was about a mongoose named Billy…but that was just the ADD acting up. However, Billy then made me think, to myself, as follows: “Self. Being that you listen to a lot of music, and then write about said music, maybe you should begin a possible music review blog. Blarg.”

I then congratulated myself on such a monumental epiphany. However, I wanted to ask ya’lls opinion.

Question: If I started a separate music blarg, reviewing new music and albums that I recommend, would you read it? Eh??

Hey all. Me again. It’s ok…breathe. I’m only human. Not a god. I promise. No seriously, stop peeing your pants. 

——————————————————————————————————-

I saw a lady at Starbucks a little bit ago, homeless…perhaps…but wearing a trash bag for a dress. I leaned to Keri and said, “she’s taking that whole bag lady persona just a little too seriously.” Then, I laughed at myself and patted myself on the back. Keri laughed. So, that’s what I call a win-win.

I have been asked recently why I am so weird. The person asking may or may not have been fictional - but for the sake of blargs everywhere, he was “real.” I said to the sir that I am, in fact, weird due to an extremely large amount of creativity, part insanity, a tidge of self-loathing, a pinch of too much time on my hands, a section of genetics, and also some salt and pepper.

I like to think that the reason that I choose to display my less-than-desirable-traits for the world to see is because I am someone who enjoys a good laugh. A solemn cry as well, but then a laugh to carry it home. I know, I know…people have been put in institutions for such reasons, but i’m actually a relatively normal person. I just find humor in the strangest of things. Mainly…me. Yep. Mostly, me. 

All this to say…at least i’m not wearing a trash bag for a dress. 

So you can hear the song I just blarged about.

So, as it is now 2011 and it literally feels no different from 2010 (so far), I am hopeful that this will change. Oddly enough, in the moment I typed “change” I reached in my coat pocket and found 13 cents. Get it? change…. 

You people are ridiculous. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and vocalizing the thoughts to my sister who strangely enough, shares most of my thoughts…but, we talk about how our humor (Or, how we see “life”) is not all that funny to other people. You know when you’re watching a movie in a group and there is that one person that laughs at the seemingly un-funny parts? Yeah, that’s me. I’m the lone-laugher. I do not apologize for this though…because I am seriously my biggest fan. I find humor in stupid things. I laugh at myself. I think that if more people started laughing at themselves instead of always have their heads up their own hoo-ha’s, then the world may be a better place.

Now, as that rant was extremely life-changing…it’s not actually the reason for this blarg. So back on track, I attack. 

Someone sent me an email about a week ago thanking me for my thoughts, my writing, my undeniable seeking of truth, even if taboo. I was like, “wait, what? for real?” (I literally said that out loud to myself.) This is probably the first time that anyone (other than in response to one of my posts at the time) just flat out said, “THANK YOU.”

I am 100% aware that what I say, type, do, and don’t do are not so popular with the people who “think” they know me so well. These are the church folk and even family who i’m friends with on Facebook who have seen me grow up as Dayna Duncan, Pastor’s Kid, Worship Leader, Perfect little Christian monkey. I have royally pissed off the masses of those people. Made you un-friend me. Or I un-friended you out of annoyance to constantly getting your berating judgement. I have lost many “friends” in the last couple of years, and my i’m sure I’ve let down my parents.

Here’s the kicker. I cannot and will not apologize for it. This particular person was actually someone that I thought was on the “Murder Dayna” committee. It blew my mind. But i’ll tell you exactly what I told her.

I have seen a lot of life in 25 years. Not much of it was pleasant. I’ve developed a thick skin over the last few years and I am NOT the person I once was. I used to be judgemental. I used to look at others and have the nerve to think them “bad christians.” I spoke a good game and struggled in silence. I gave every ounce of my time, energy, focus, and passion to the church. Not God. The church. I was really good at saying the right things, doing the right things, being the good role model, having it all together. I was a champ. I could lead worship in my sleep. I still could if I wanted to. But, it was all disgenuine. Every minute. 

It took a life-altering, really effed up life experience for me to wake up. To realize that I was hurting God, myself, and my family MORE to be a complete fake than to be true to myself. I am a sinner. I am not proud of some of the sin I commit. But I at least and honest.

My newest idol in EVERY way is a singer/songwriter named Joy Williams. You may remember her as the blond bubbly Christian pop singer around 2003-2004ish. She is a Pastor’s kid. And she took a step back herself to reevaluate life and the meaning of Christianity. She walked away from Christian music, wrote her own stuff, and is now in one of the most popular rising indie duos in the nation called “The Civil Wars.” 

I met her when I moved to Nashville at a Civil Wars show and I can honestly say that she changed my life in those 5 minutes. We talked about our upbringings, our faith, our inability to look at the church as this beacon of God’s potential. We both had been burned out by church ministry…and that song is sung by millions of people in the world. I’m not saying ministry is not relevant or needed, i’m simply saying that the original plan has been distorted in many churches.

She said a lot of things but the most prominent are, “I have a glass of wine, I say a few choice words, and I still believe God is God.”

When talking about leaving Christian music, “I just chose to sing of love and beauty. And beauty isn’t always pretty.”

I wish I could put it any better than that. I will leave you with some more of her words. These are the lyrics to her song, “Speaking In A Dead Language” and it’s her message to the church. Really let it sink in.

Speaking A Dead Language 
Written By: Joy Williams & Jeremy Bose 

We built a tall, tall tower 
Towards the sun, towards the sun 
Took some words and built a wall 
And called it love, called it love 

And somewhere in all the talking 
The meaning faded out 

Oh, I wonder 
When did it all stop making sense? 
I don’t understand 
I remember we were so sure, so innocent 
Oh, but that was then 
Can we ever go back again? 
Can we ever go back? 

You’re speaking a dead, dead language 
You don’t sound like yourself 
I hope its just lost in translation 
So why don’t you show? Don’t try to tell 

And brick by brick we started crumbling
Will I find you when it falls? 

Oh, I wonder 
When did it all stop making sense? 
I don’t understand 
I remember we were so sure, so innocent 
Oh, but that was then 
Can we ever go back? 

Don’t hold your breath 
Look around 
Try to add it up 
Pin it down 
But you can’t 

Oh, I wonder 
When did it all stop making sense? 
I don’t understand 
I remember we were so sure, so innocent 
Oh, but that was then 
Can we ever go back again? 
Can we ever go back?

So, it’s that time of year when people start looking at goals for the new year. I normally don’t bother with this, as I always fail. Hard. However, this year i’ve decided to aim for logical and simple goals. 

1. Get a dog.

2. Buy a couch.

3. Finally get that darned tattoo on my arm i’ve been planning for a year.

4. Record an EP.

5. Meet new people.

Sadly, #5 is usually the hardest one for me. As a friend kindly pointed out to me, if someone starts the conversation with me, i’m all about it. I’m there. And I dazzle. (I added that last part) But i’m miserable at starting conversation with new people. It usually goes something like, “Uh…umm…Dayna…my name…face…umm…cheese.” That varies, obviously…but I have a problem with using cheese in everyday convo. Whoops.

#4 is legit. Too legit to quit, actually. Another friend has been a fire under my bootay. I’ve been writing a TON and really excited about where my music is headed. So here’s so a Dayna Duncan EP in 2011 eh?

The first 3 are self-explanatory. So. Whatevs.

These things may or may not happen. I hope so. I will do my darndest to complete the list. I will keep ya’ll abreast of the situation. Last year’s goal of having a single date in 2010 failed. I feel better about 2011’s list.

Marmaduke.

As promised after yesterday’s sad entry into the psyche of my bane existence, I am now going to bestow my top 5 favorite Christmas movies of all time. All. Time. Movies. Christmas. Time.

I should intro that it is especially difficult to narrow down the plethora of Christmasy goodness, but these are MY absolute, knock down, drag out, must have holiday films. Enjoy…

(pause for distraction, as there are like 6 fire trucks next door…)

(un-pause. false alarm.)

——My Top 5 Regular Christmas Movies——

5. “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” (2000) Jim Carrey

In this brilliant and quotable telling of the classic story, I am never ceased to be amazed at how funny Jim Carrey is. Only he could wear green fur and still be able to make it completely entertaining. Of the various amazing lines, the part when he’s thinking of going to the Whobilation and he’s mulling it over to himself?…so stinkin’ funny.

“The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”

4. “Christmas Vacation” (1989) Chevy Chase

A Duncan family staple for the Holiday season, my family quotes it, watches it, and quotes it some more into oblivion. It’s disturbing and hilarious. Everything a Christmas movie should be! Is there a better character ever written than Eddie? I submit that there is not!

“Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?                                                                       Clark: Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”

3. “Scrooged” (1988) Bill Murray

Another Duncan tradition, we all watch this every single Christmas Eve without fail. I also think this is a classically underrated gem as many people have never even seen it! If you haven’t - do yourself a favor. Please. Bill Murray is his perfect neurotic self and this genius take on the classic Dickins’ story is amazing. So. Funny.

“The Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh, what is this, Frank? Oh, oh look, Frank! It’s a TOASTER!” 

2. “It’s A Wonderful Life” (1946) James Stewart

I’m not sure I need to fully explain this classic, for if you haven’t seen it or at least know the story, then you are fully unmerican. Yeah. I said it. My mom and I sit down every year around Thanksgiving just the 2 of us and watch it. It still gets me all emotional and it makes me SO ready for the holiday season. It’s…it’s…wonderful? Yep.

“George Bailey: I wish I had a million dollars… Hot dog!” 

—-And…#1!——

1. “Elf” (2003) Will Farrell

Really? Like it’s any contest! Elf is even one of those Christmas movies that I can watch year round…simply because it may be one of the funniest, most quotable movies of all time. I literally say things like “Smiling’s my favorite,” or “You sit on a throne of lies” almost daily! It’s genius. I mean, James Caan doing a Christmas movie, with Will Farrell? Whoever casted that movie is a bajillionare right now. It’s my hands down, favorite Christmas movie. Ever.

“Buddy: Buddy the elf, what’s your favorite color?”

ninny-muggins.

Now, as many people are well aware…I was born into a loving family who at the helm lies my mother…a mother who is more than obsessed with Christmas. It’s a years planning all leading up to this season. 

I used to hate it. I’d get so annoyed at her constant decorating and why she insisted on wasting a gift on a Nutcracker every single Christmas morning. That could have been another cute shirt! Geese!

But as I got older, moved away to college, and realized that I was, in fact, just like Santa’s #1 Elf (as she’s known affectionately to no one, because I just made that up). I crave it. I need it to survive. Mom’s Christmas is like blood that runs in my veins. Without it…I would die.

I realize that’s being a bit dramatic - but seriously?…have you ever met my family?…dramatic is an understatement!

So, in honor of my favorite time of year I am bestowing 2 top 5 lists. First, in this particular blarg, My top 5 “Made for TV Christmas Movies” and tomorrow, my top 5 “Regular Christmas Movies.”

——-Top 5 Made-for-TV Christmas Movies——

5. “Borrowed Hearts” (1997) Roma Downey, Eric McCormack, Hector Elizondo

You all know this one! It’s the one where she works for a mean boss and ends up having to pretend to be his wife for some corporate dude and then they fall in love…etc. It’s a classic. Plus, I love any movie when Hector Elizondo plays the “hired help.”

4. “Moonlight and Mistletoe” (2008) Candace Cameron, Tom Arnold

What a gem. Tom Arnold plays a Christmas fanatic but Candace is the reluctant workaholic daughter. As fate would have it, she returns home, saves the family business and falls in love with the handsome loner whom she met as a child. It’s fan-tastic.

3. “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (2008) Henry Winkler, Brook Burns

Henry Winkler is adorable. Even as retired cop uncle to Brook’s character, a single mom and succesful businesswoman. When the Uncle happens upon grifter “Morgan” played by Warren Christie - the GORGEOUS guy who played the jerk on October Road (which left me very unsatisfied with its abrupt canceling…that was a good show, dag nabbit!) Anywho, Uncle convinces Niece and Son to let Grifter stay and bada bing. Love. 

2. “Recipe for a Perfect Christmas” (2005) Christine Baranski, Carly Pope, Bobby Cannavale

The only rep from Lifetime, it has everything you and I would need. Hott guy. Food. And Christine Baranski as the crazy mom. And…there you go!

———here it is….———

1. “The Christmas Card” (2006) Ed Asner, John Newton, Alice Evans

This epically cheesy gem is top notch Christmas goodness. A soldier gets a random Christmas card in Colorado (or wherever) and has no family of his own. So while on leave, he goes to the town. He meets Ed Asner (the dad) and they allow him into their home to stay. Well…we all know what happens. LOVE. This movie makes me smile, and I find I quote it from time to time. It’s literally so, so corny. It’s perfect!

I hope you enjoyed Part 1 - my favorite “bigger budget” movies are coming up…

“Curley fries. Extra crispy.”

Heyo. I always like to write something resembling that of “tomfoolery” after a serious blarg. Mostly to prove to people that i’m not losing my edge. And i’m edgy. Just ask anyone. Utter my name and shivers run down people’s spines. Seriously. It’s proven.

And….scene.

Maybe it’s living in Nashville and music being pretty much everywhere, (literally) but I’ve been inspired by so many new artists down here. They are simply stellar, and I feel like i’m lucky for becoming exposed to it all. For realz, yo.

One of the dudes i’ve come to see and admire (musically…though he’s not that hard on the eyes, if you’re pickin’ up what i’m layin’ down) is Steve Moakler. (PLUS HE’S A STEELERS FAN!!!) I first heard him the day that I first heard Dave Barnes, Ben Rector, and my favoritty fave Andrew Ripp. (The 4 of them did a free show at Rumors East for the Tomato Festival here in Nashville) I thought to myself, “he reminds me of Jason Mraz…just not annoying and overplayed and over-produced.” But as I listened to more of his stuff I realized he is so much more than that. 

One song in particular that I would like to expound upon is a little diddy entitled, “All the Faint Lights.” It’s a pretty song at it’s shell and pleasing to the ears, but if you take the time to listen to the lyrics and in my case, look UP the lyrics, it sheds quite a new light on the situation. 

The chorus is as such,

“Cause all the faint lights. They left me stranded and lost. Reaching through empty pockets just to pay my cost. I put up a fight. But now its taking its toll. I’m waiting for something to set fire. Wake up my soul.”

Money.

How dead on is that? (well, for me anyways.) But it’s true that as humans we tend to seek out certain “lights” in the hopes of finding our way but end up falling short. It’s usually our fault, but we don’t like to admit defeat. But it gets under our skin until we are so stranded and lost that we become desperate for something to “set fire.” Something to basically knock us on our bum bums and make us realize what we actually need is faith. Faith in others, friends and family, faith in God, faith in love. It’s one of those “aha” moments that we all crave.

I feel as though i’m hitting one of those moments very shortly here. I can feel it…and i’m sizing it up a bit to see where it’s pushing me. But, I can say with full certainty that i’m tired of putting up the fight. I am one bruised and broken chickidoo and I for sure need a change. 

Who’s with me? 

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? 

Go check him out at http://www.myspace.com/stevemoakler and enjoy. 

snickers. 

As I am fond of my usual nonsensical fiddle faddle, I have been feeling a little retrospective as of late. Thinking of where I was just 6 months ago, awaiting my move to Nashville. Looking forward to a new life and unsure of how to go about pursuing it.

A lot can happen in 6 months. That’s for sure.

A friend of mine from college is moving here in a couple of days and she was asking on facebook about what songs to listen to on her journey down. I offered her the song that played as I came upon the city of Nashville, with it’s buildings and sunlight after 8 hours of dark and rain. The song was “Shine,” by David Gray and I couldn’t have staged it any better. It was one of those “awe” moments when an exact moment and exact song lyric exposed a plan orchestrated far beyond what we can control or even see for ourselves. As corny as it sounds, it was a promise. I will remember that pivotal moment for the rest of my life. (And the inevitable tears that followed.)

The lyric of the song, forever implanted on my brain was:

“You gotta rise from these ashes, like a bird of flame. Step out of the shadow. We’ve gotta go where we can shine.”

Like I said, I could not have concocted it any better (a total movie moment). It was a complete fluke, but this random moment literally changed my life. Literally.

The rest of the lyrics the proceeded to cause more tears, and more revelation.

“For all that we struggle, for all we pretend. It don’t come down to nothing but love in the end. And ours is a road strewn with goodbyes. But as it unfolds, as it unwinds, remember your soul is the one thing you can’t compromise. Take my hand, we’re gonna go where we can shine.”

It gives me a sense of awe and goosebumps even still. In this moment of introspection, I hope you can see a change in me as well. Of all the hard times I’ve gone through, blarged about, and complained about, and will most likely still complain about, I hope that you’ve seen through my story that life does suck…but providence and promise made me want to have more. More hope. More strength. A better future. I still don’t know all that the city has to offer me, what I will do with my music, where the path will lead me next, but I know that I’ve come quite far in 6 months. 

So to the naysayers and the people who said I was foolish for uplifting my life, single and alone, 9 hours away from family and friends because I “felt” like it was something I was supposed to do…the jokes on you. I may not be “famous” and that wasn’t the reason I moved to Nashville anyways, but I have found a sense of “home.” THAT is why I took the giant, giant leap. And so far, it’s paid off. 

I apologize right now, but there will be cussing in this. I am livid.

Today is National Purple Day or whatever to support gay rights and the horrible suicide of the boy at Rutgers. Now, before you just say, “oh it’s Dayna stirring up controversy again with her pro-gay rights tomfoolery”….just shut up. I’m in no mood for bigotry. Below are a few of the selected quote’s from a few status updates bestowed upon the facebook world by a “friend” of mine.

“The purple shirts are like targets. You can pinpoint all the morons that are out and about today with great ease”

“I won’t be wearing purple today. I don’t want to get mixed into the “sad panda for suicidal gays.”

“I guess all of the nutjobs at AI are wearing purple tomorrow for the fairy duster that offed himself. Suicide. What a selfish act.”

That last one made me physically ill. Now, I may not be gay, but some of the closest people in my life are. You can be a Christian and be homophobic, whatever, think it’s sin, go ahead…but NO ONE. NO ONE DESERVES HATRED LIKE THIS!!!!!!!

This guy, this coward posts gay-bashing status updates often actually. He also posts so much about how OTHER people are poor examples of Christians.

It makes me sick. People like this. Always blaming other people and telling other people that they are wrong. All while “proclaiming the name of Jesus.”

I think if Jesus came back to earth, he’d slap people like this in the face.

So, sir…you spout how everyone else is wrong, and blah blah blah, but you are just an asshole who THINKS that people actually care what you have to say. All of the people who “like” you statuses are probably little girls who want to get into your emo tight pants and yourself. Which, in itself, proves my point.

I am unfriending you. Which is sad because I used to think you were cool and funny. But, it’s not worth my time to read your new statuses (every 3 seconds) about Halo and your self-indulgent bull shit. Get over yourself. God loves everyone…but he doesn’t like you much, I bet.

Love,

Dayna